What a tender mercy we have been given. Mom became stronger, not 100% in strength of body, but she was full strength in spirit, in love and in devotion to her family and friends. We started the year 2010 with preparing our home in Lewiston to be put on the market for sale. Since mom's diagnoses, we had moved Dad to a family home in Redmond where he received excellent care with Maria and Ramona as he suffered from Alzheimer's disease, and the family no longer resided in Lewiston.
It was at this time also, that mom had gained a bit more physical strength and we wanted to have her leave the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance house to reside in a more home-like atmosphere (don't get me wrong we have some fabulous memories there at the SCCA house too! We spent both Thanksgiving and Christmas 2009 at the SCCA house utilizing their wonderful kitchen and media facilities for our own Family Retreat.) Kristalyn and Brad knew of a couple looking for renters, so we moved her to a condo (also in Redmond, near Kristalyn's house and Dad too!) Mom gained strength and continued to serve our father with daily visits and would occasionally stay the weekend with Paul and I at our house.
We had a renewal of hope as we proceeded through the months ahead watching mom gain strength and share her love. It was in late March that she went to visit Darrin and Holly and their family in Spokane for a visit that dad became ill and was hospitalized. Doctors gave him 3 to 7 days maximum in his condition with a irreparable ruptured bowel. A week later, April 5, he passed away. We miss Dad immensely. His death brought great sorrow to our family, but we found strength in the knowledge that he was no longer suffering and was reunited with his parents, brothers, and other loved ones. God had another work for him to do.
In May, mom wanted the whole family to take a trip together. Many of you know of our families love for the Oregon Coast. Holly, Kristalyn, and mom worked tirelessly to find the perfect vacation rental. We found it! Mom was admitted to the hospital with an infection on her Hickman line a mere 3 or so days before our trip departure. We were afraid that the trip wouldn’t happen, the infection was not present, it was a contamination that transferred the infection. As a precaution (and since she hadn’t been receiving treatment), they removed her Hickman line and she gained enough strength to make the venture to our Manzanita dream home. We spent a week together enjoying the sand, the waves, the water (if you were Darrin, Paul, or me) and were able to come closer as a family. One of the most memorable parts of this trip for me was our horseback riding adventure along the beach. What a great time that was. We also had a chef prepare meals for us and had family pictures taken at the beach house. All to remind ourselves of the importance of family. We knew that this trip was another blessing for our family...to build family bonds. That trip was an answer to all of our prayers in many ways, but was especially important to mom.
The summer was a busy time for mom. She spent weeks with Darrin and Holly in Spokane, stayed with Rochelle and Paul and built memories with Kristalyn and her family in Redmond. We are so grateful for those times together.
In early July, Mom visited Grandpa Welch and Aunt Holly and her family in Rigby. She had a wonderful time taking a ride in Aunt Holly’s corvette to our cousin Jessica and Chad’s house. In addition to visiting with Grandpa and the Hancock’s, mom was able to visit with old friends Jim and Shirley Ross, and also Richard and Lynnette Young (I believe Anna was there too!). The numberless friendships mom has is a tribute to her unending devotion, care and love for others.
From Rigby, she went directly to Spokane to visit Darrin and Holly Throughout this year Mom would see her doctor once a month or so and the reports continued to show that the bone marrow wasn't growing back very fast, which was providing her with time. The doctors viewed her case as a miracle.
She came back to Redmond for a short while and I believe this is when she was called to teach Relief Society in Redmond 1st ward. She was always preparing and thinking of the messages she wanted to share with the sisters. She was always so modest, thinking she wasn’t good enough—but rumor has it, they really enjoyed her lessons. I remember her telling me about an object lesson with marshmallows. I believe it had to do with temptation whether or not to eat the marshmallow after being given instructions not to do so. This was likened to temptations in life.
Mom had a fabulous Visiting Teaching companion. She and mom went to the temple several times together. I know I was blessed to be able to attend with them once, as did Kristalyn. It was so wonderful to be in the temple with my mom again. When she lived in Lewiston, it was a rare occasion for us to be able to attend together. Mom had a firm grasp of the importance of temple work (ingrained most definitely from her parents, our Grandpa and Grandma Welch.)
Late July Mom and Rochelle went to San Diego for a trip and mom was able to spend time with her cousin Judi and her husband Chris in La Jolla for dinner. Judi and mom were kids together and were reunited via email a little over a decade ago. Mom treasured her relationship with Judi. These memories are priceless as family ties were strengthened.
Mom and I got to spend a lot of time together during mid-August. Mom and I went to some of her doctors appointments together this month. Kristalyn usually took mom to her appointments, during the school year because I was working, but the summer allowed me the opportunity to go with mom. It is hard work to sit and wait, and wait, but as mom showed me, it was time to sit together, relax, chat, and reflect. (Besides the view of Lake Union wasn’t to shabby either!) But it was then that mom decided to receive treatment for her frozen shoulder and left arm. She realized she was becoming weaker and felt uncomfortable relying on others to accomplish tasks. This was a difficult time for her, despite our explanation that she’d been paying it forward for so long that it was her turn to receive help. She had served so many for so long, that it was only right that she get a little more TLC and help now when she was struggling and needed it.
Mom and I celebrated my birthday together. We went to a Dr.’s appointment and then we went to CHEESECAKE FACTORY! I must admit that we had a fabulous time. Mom and I had great service, delicious food and it was a great time being with my mom. Afterward, we went shopping for her upcoming trip to Hawaii. She needed some weather appropriate, but also clothes that were easy to get into as lifting her arms and getting dressed was becoming more of a challenge. We found some cute clothes and some really great deals!
The start of September mom went on a trip to Hawaii with a dear long-time friend Connie Kelly. Mom was a bit nervous at first as she was growing weaker and some tasks required more help. Her trip was fantastic! She had a marvelous time! While on the trip when we called her she would always greet us with a big "Aloha!." Her favorite part of the trip was the Polynesian Cultural Center, the luau and the boat tour, but most importantly time with her bosom buddy. When she returned she was renewed in spirit and soul and wanted so dearly to share her experiences with us (and to go again I’m guessing!) She has always had a love for the ocean and beaches.
The second week of September, Mom went to Spokane when school started. For her birthday on Sept 9, 2010, Darrin and Holly along with her "Fit Express" gym friends surprised her with a birthday dinner. Mom thought she was just going to get to see the comedian Brian Regan but Darrin and Holly had some tricks up their sleeves and she got to spend time with all her gym ladies too!
I also know that during the summertime in Spokane, mom ate well! Holly, Darrin’s wife is an excellent cook and baker. Mom would call and rub it in how well she was eating. She even found some new favorite restaurants—including Texas Roadhouse, where the ribs just fall off the bones. She remarked on several occasions that she was noticing her clothes getting a little tight from all her food enjoyment. We were not complaining as she had been so thin and weak.
She had been struggling with some shoulder discomfort and moving around was becoming more of a challenge. But despite all her ailments and aches and pains, she always wanted to know how everyone else was doing and making sure our needs were met. What an example of Christ like love and service that I have to draw from---my mother! While in Spokane she received physical therapy to regain movement in her left shoulder. It was hard and painful, but she did regain some motion in her arm.
She stayed in Spokane through October to finish out her physical therapy treatment plan. She had her own la-z-y boy lift chair to make it easier to get up and down. She talked fondly of her time in Spokane. We missed her awfully in Western Washington but felt fortunate she was spending time her grandkids and Darrina and Holly in Spokane.
The weekend of Halloween, Paul and Rochelle went to Spokane for the holiday and to bring mom back to Redmond. We had such a good time with the kids at the ward trunk or treat and eating at Texas Roadhouse and a delicious donut shop. We carved pumpkins and laughed hysterically while the kids sorted through the costume box searching for accessories and ideas for the next year. We also were able to attend church in Spokane as well. I slept most of the drive home (thanks Paul for driving) and mom and Paul chatted. When I woke up we discussed mom’s next travel plans to visit Grandpa Welch and Aunt Holly in Rigby again. We wanted her to stay since it had been since August since we’d seen her, so she figured she would probably stay home for a about a week or so and then go to Southern Idaho. Regardless, she felt like she’d better see Dr.Hendrie before she left town again for another adventure.
We got mom all settled in for the evening October 31, 2010 and then Paul and I went home to sleep. I received a phone call the next morning on my way to work. She’d left a message that I couldn’t understand something about Grandpa. I called her back and found out that Grandpa Welch had suffered from a massive stroke. Mom and Kristalyn headed to Rigby via plane to be with Grandpa. He was able to tell all of us that he loved us either in person or on the phone and was able to say good bye. Mom was able to be with him when he passed away on Nov, 4, 2010
After the funeral services for Grandpa mom was going to stay behind for a few days with her sister, but plans changed, she was feeling very tired and weak and so she drove back to Spokane with Darrin and Holly on Tuesday November 9. She stayed with Darrin and Holly until Sunday November 14.
Kristalyn, Ella, and Hailley took mom to see the Anne of Green Gables production On November 10. Mom was not well, but wanted to attend so badly she mustered the strength to attend. They all spoke highly of the evening commenting both the show and the mutual company.
On November 16 mom had an appointment with Dr. Hendrie. This is when she received the bad news. Her white blood cells had started to come back. For so long she’d been steady counts with low wbc counts as the chemo had killed most of them, and they were growing back very slowly. The doctors had been puzzled by how much time mom was given without the blast count rising. This appointment changed everything. We knew mom was feeling weaker, we knew she was sick, but this appointment confirmed what we probably already knew in our minds, but didn’t want to feel in our hearts. Her time was short. The doctors didn’t give a very specific time frame, but later that week Hospice service was arranged. I can’t imagine how uncomfortable it was to be of sound mind and know that your time was short. Mom carried herself well. We spoke on the phone when she felt strong enough to do so when I was unable to visit in the evenings after work. She needed care and help around the clock. Thankful Kristalyn’s situation allowed her to stay with mom during this time.
Before Grandpa suffered his stroke, Paul and I had planned to take mom to Spokane for Thanksgiving. It worked out that part of Kristalyn and Brad’s family was able to attend as well. It was good for all of us to be together. Our cousin Helaman lives in Coeur d’Alene and he came over to celebrate with us as well. Mom was really tired. She spent a lot of time in bed, in her recliner, and only went out of the house to go the Forgotten Carols program in Downtown Spokane. We knew that she was feeling far worse than she was admitting, but family time was so important to her. Before we left Spokane, Darrin gave mom a blessing of comfort. It was a beautiful blessing and it was clear to us that mom’s time in this earthly existence was almost complete.
Traveling to Spokane and then back to Redmond was a great challenge for mom. She was having extreme pain in her arms, hips, and legs, and her Reynaud’s disease was an added challenge for her feet and toes. Her body temperature regulation was off. She would be hot and sweaty but her skin would feel cool and clammy. She traveled most of the way with her eyes closed and didn’t say much. Her appetite was lowering, her uneasy nauseous stomach was prevalent, but through it all she was happy to be together as family—and we were so thrilled to be with her. I sang Christmas Carols to her most of the way there and back, not sure that it was a help, but she loves this time of year and it help break the silence of our travels.
In early October Paul and I had planned to take mom to see “The Christmas Story” A musical at the 5th Avenue Theater in Seattle on Nov. 30. Mom wanted to attend, but we waited until the day arrived to decide if her strength was such that she would be able to go. With much sadness she decided she’d better not attend because we had big plans with the entire family for Darrin’s birthday on Saturday Dec 4, and she wanted to save up all her energy for that day.
Aunt Holly arrived to visit on Thursday November 25. We were so glad to have her with us. We’ve all appreciated her kindness, support, strength, courage, and advice during this time. It has been difficult for all of us, with losing Grandpa Welch last month a few years after Grandma Welch left us, and then our Father’s passing earlier this year, and now we were preparing for mom to depart from this earth life as well. Aunt Holly brought us great comfort.
Friday December 3, Darrin, Holly and family arrived in town for the snow train/celebration of Darrin’s birthday. The Leavenworth Snow Train adventure was a very memorable experience. We were all happy to be entertained by the singers, comedians, bands, and magicians as they passed through the train cars. The food was excellent and company superb. We had a big group of people and so the entertainment often stopped near us for a while longer than the other areas of the train because we were so engaged and interactive in their routines. It was an incredible day, but on the train there was much time for reflection on the reality of what was unfolding before our eyes. We had everyone together: Kristalyn, Brad, Darrin, Holly, Rochelle, Paul, Hailley, Montana, Rian, Ella, Olivia, Owen, Mallory, Mom and mom’s sister Aunt Holly.
Mom required much support to stand and even more support to get on and off the train. She spent the entire train ride next to her sister with her eyes closed. She was exhausted, it was hard for us to watch her suffering, but we knew she had made up her mind the day before that we ALL were going to go to Leavenworth for the Christmas Lighting Ceremony, and that included her so that is what we did. Mom didn’t feel any better as the train ride went a long. When we got to Leavenworth Kristalyn had thought ahead and rented a hotel room for the day. Aunt Holly and mom rested in the room until the lighting ceremony was going to begin. The rest of us window shopped, kids sledded, and then met back to get mom ready for the tree lighting.
We got her all bundled up and as soon as her eyes saw the lights, her face was glowing and beaming with joy. I can’t help but think of how happy she was, wider eyes than we’d seen for several days and the joy in her face was incredible. This time of year means so much to mom. She has set some pretty profound traditions in our family around the holidays that I am eager to continue in my family. I know she has always wanted us to remember the reason we celebrate the Christmas season, because of Christ our Saviors birth.
Once we gazed at the lights for several moments, we took some family photos. It was really great to see how happy mom was to be with all of us together. She’d been looking forward to this for months, the day had arrived and her mind was made up that she was going to attend. We got mom back on the train. She was not well. She rested for the entire rest of the trip; she never complained but we knew she must be in agony. I knew it was her dream come true to have us all together for this event.
Mom grew progressively weaker. Sunday mom was able to speak with us and carry on few word conversations and answer questions, Monday it was more of a challenge. She had stopped eating and was no longer able to get up or walk. Her entire body was in agony, each movement of her arm, or leg was excruciating for her. She was receiving morphine for pain on a regular and increasing schedule. Her words were no longer coming easily. Her eyes were heavy, she was struggling to communicate. We had holiday music playing in the background and Aunt Holly played some children’s hymns as well as one of mom’s favorite holiday tunes on the piano for comfort.
Darrin and Holly had to travel back to Spokane on Monday night, as they said their good byes, it was an emotional experience for everyone. We didn’t know if that would be our last time to be all together with mom in this earth life.
Tuesday was a more difficult day for all of us. I took the time off work as it was difficult on Monday to concentrate on work. Small tasks seemed like mountains to tackle, and our thought processes skills were challenged.
It was evening, we had all spent time with mom, saddened by her state and worried about her comfort. We all shuffled in and out throughout the evening talking to her as she lay mostly unresponsive. I know she could hear us. Our words of love, our fears, and concerns for her comfort.
I was sitting near her singing Christmas songs and holding her hand. Every several minutes she open her eyes and I would continue singing to her. I did this for over twenty minutes. She took her last breaths after opening her eyes one last time and looking at me and trying to say “love you.” Mom passed away at approximately 10:20pm on Tuesday December 7, 2010.
She was a courageous fighter and defender of faith; a strength to us all. A mentor, mother, sister, wife, teacher, and joy to everyone she came in contact with. Anyone who has met her can’t help but love her! I can only imagine how happy the reunion with Dad and Grandpa and Grandma is! That reunion and our knowledge of God’s plan of salvation will help lessen the pain of losing her. It hasn’t worked yet entirely as I feel so selfishly sad that my mom is not with me for me to put my head on her shoulder. Heavenly Father needed her to complete an important work beyond this life, so she said good bye to us for a time. Although she is gone, her legacy of faith, testimony of strength and abounding love for her family, friends and community, will live on forever in our hearts and minds.
…Precious moments,
special people,
happy faces,
I can see…
all of the music,
all of the magic,
all of the fam'ly home he
here with me…
