It's going to be okay.

There are times when I get so overwhelmed and feel like I'll never, be, do or accomplish all that I want/need/desire....and although that's true, I'm realizing that it is still okay to live a little! I'm looking forward to our weekend. Paul's birthday is on Sunday and he has a fun filled weekend! Perhaps I'll be better at bringing the camera this time.

Thanks for all y'alls support, care, and concern.
From the cute cards, emails, and notes, to the flowers, plants, and meals. We feel loved.

Speaking of things I love...

So I found that Paul has a BUNCH of pictures on his computer that I haven't seen since they were taken on his camera! Hence this post. While viewing, I came across a few that reminded me of really good times with my family... circa 2008. Not that I haven't had good times since then...well you know, I really shouldn't have to explain :) I just wanted to share my memories.

Maybe I'll work my way backwards on my blog...telling the past as I tell the present, who knows, maybe I'll put some wedding pics up since most people haven't even seen any of them!

Really, I guess I just wanted to share that I am so grateful for my family--all of my family. Everyone (even those not pictured at this time due to time constraints on the posting). They mean everything to me. I am so grateful to know that this life is not the end...

Paul and I lovin' our view of the Oregon Coast!

Paul and Mom-- Seaside Oregon 7/26/2008

Dad and Mom on the ledge looking over Manzanita.
That is a classic dad look!

I love this photo of my mom, dad, and our Nestle' kitty.
August 1, 2008 Lewiston Idaho

Lewiston "Homestead" kitchen

Mom and Me!

The "susan" cookie and other "treats"

So yesterday my co-worker gave me some of these delicious little cookies. I could have eaten 20 they are so good. But I had to hold myself back. All day I had been thinking about coming home and tasting these delicious cookies.

No sooner did I walk in the door that I noticed a not-so-fresh odor. Yup another "treat" left by our lovely pet--Kiki. I spared you all a picture of that one...






Calling All Pet Owners-- you know, "those" mornings when you don't quite get up on time? when you don't give the dog the proper amount of outside time because you are running late? and then you want to kick yourself when you get home to see the "surprise" they left you? (hopefully Paul and I aren't alone on this one)

Well we are lucky-- at least our dog knows where WE do our business so she kindly leaves her business in one of the two bathrooms. Usually on the rug or other "towel like" material.

Now I speak as if this is an often occurrence, it is not. It only happens every 2-3 months. You want to know the best part? As soon as we get home, when we find the surprise, we call her in and she won't come because she knows that she was naughty. Guess what she does? She escorts herself to her crate (she doesn't go in her crate very often unless it is for "time out" situations) and sits in there-- a self-inflicted time out.

What a smart dog!

Anyway, back to the susan cookies...oh how they are delightful. In fact, I'm most likely going to be bringing some to the get together I'm going to later...delicious!

Happy Treating--cookies or otherwise!

Dear me! Dear MY!

So I walked in the door, thought I'd write a stinkin' good deal down that I got at Safeway on Frozen Taquitos (I'll share below).

So I typed in my blog address on Mozilla... (I don't know a shorter way to log on...fill me in anyone if there is one!) and well, I momentarily had a freak out moment when the screen appeared before my eyes...it was someone else's words...my blog had transformed into a page of filth and seemingly sadness...I blinked thinking I was seeing something...nope. I reread what I had typed in and it looked right...then I stopped..breathed in again and reread what I had typed... bucketoflove.blogspot.com instead of mybucketoflove.blogspot.com

Boy was I relieved that I had only mistyped and that my blog had not turned into something weird.
Especially after I had just shared with several people the address!

I'm telling you, that you probably don't want to "accidently" visit that one...the one with out the MY in front of it. If your curiousity gets the best of you, remember I warned you.

That MY is "MYghty" important!


So onto my Safeway deal...

I purchased Taquitos (60 ct) from the freezer section. They were on sale at safeway for 6.99. I had a $2.00 off coupon in my purse and there was a $2.00 blinkie (thanks Sarah for the lingo) so I walked out the door spending 2.99 for 60 taquitos! What a deal!

To post or not to post...

So the last two days I have been leaving my house exhausted, barely able to put myself together to get to work and then when I'm leaving work to come home I have been even more exhausted... This is not the life I would like to continue leading.

I know I need to get back to the gym since I haven't gone since the beginning of April and I KNOW that that will help me feel better...but sometimes, you just want to wallow in the tiredness?? Or is it just me?

I am reminded of a line in the movie "Elizabethtown:"

"I want you to get into the deep beautiful melancholy of everything that's happened"

Not sure how many of you have seen that movie, but this line comes in a time when Claire (Kirsten Dunst) is talking to Drew (Orlando Bloom) after giving him this incredible scrapbook and road trip music for him to ponder as he drives from Kentucky back to Oregon.

I am giving myself permission to feel, I just need a soundtrack. It's hard.


PS. This is my favorite part of the movie what a great gift. I would be thrilled to receive such a gift...and the tunes were amazing. I loved the soundtrack to the movie. Any takers on making me one?

First day back to work.

Today was my first day back to work since Dad passed away. I had butterflies in my stomach, I was a little shaky, and nervous. It was kind of like the first day of school all over again. I honestly am not certain as to whether it was nerves of teaching, or nerves of talking to people and facing the reality that my Dad isn't with us anymore.

I have been keeping "busy" trying to avoid the thoughts of him being gone...thinking that if I don't think about it, it actually isn't true. I am so sad. My dad was a great man who worked hard all of his life to provide for us and teach us principles of life. I am the baby and so he always had a special spot in his heart for his little girl.

The picture above is from December 2009 one day when Mom and I went to visit Dad at his home with Maria and Ramona. I'll be sure to post more when I get my camera back from mom's house in Redmond.

In November we took family pictures on the top of the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance House (SCCA) where mom lived for 2+ months after she left the UW hospital (that she had been in for 2+ months!). We did a GREEN theme and here are a couple of the snap shots of us at that time with dad too.

This has probably been the hardest year of my entire life...indescribable is the pain and heartache of losing a parent. I do not have words to describe how I'm feeling. I will always have the memories of the good times together.

P.S.
I am planning to gather a team together to do the Alzheimer Association Memory Walk this fall..let me know if you care to join me ( I may need someone to co-captain the team with me).

Here is a link to Dad's tribute page on the Alzheimer's Association website where you can find all sorts of good information about Alzheimer's. If you click here it links you to the Lewiston Morning Tribune so you can see a little bit about my daddy's life in his obituary.