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| Thanksgiving 2007 |
Today marks the one year anniversary of my mom's passing. I would be lying if I told you that it has been an easy year. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge I have that I will be able to be reunited with my parents after this life helps with my perspective on some days, but on most days--it just plain sucks that they are not here.
I know that they are watching over me and my new little family. Sometimes I see a sparkle in CC's eyes that tells me they are surrounding us with love at that very moment. It does makes me feel comforted to know that I can feel their love still each day.
I miss my parents deeply and often feel sorry for myself and think of how unfair it is that they don't get to be a part of Claudia Cate's life here on earth. They don't get to be with her during her first laugh, her first step, or to take her for an afternoon date. All of these things I know they would love to be a part of and I wish that for CC.
What's also been hard is the number of times over the past year that I've thought, "oh, I should call and tell mom that." or "mom and dad will know the answer, I'll ask them." It is still surreal to me that they are gone.
As each milestone of 2011 goes by, birthday's, holidays, family trips, I take moments to remember. I am so grateful for all the memories I do have with my parents and how lucky I am that they were part of my life for nearly 32 years. I know many people aren't that lucky--so I am grateful.
No one loved Christmas like my mom loved Christmas. As a child we would often be surprised by her gifts---not because we didn't like them, but because we loved them and couldn't believe that mom had remembered from earlier in the year something we mentioned we would like--she remembered and would surprise us with it. She was always good with surprises. She was always giving thoughtful gifts to her friends and neighbors--all throughout the year--but especially around the holidays.
I will say as the Christmas Season--the time of year my mom loved so much-- has approached, each day I think of her and how she LOVED Christmas, the music, the tree, the endless surprising, the family gathering, and all that goes with the special holiday--I want to make those magical moments and memories for CC.
Mom loved Christmas. I love Christmas even more now that she's gone. As I prepare to bring the joys and start traditions in our little family this year I am so thankful for a mom and dad that celebrated in the knowledge of our Savior Jesus Christ and who honored him during this time of year--and at all times. There is no better way for me to remember and honor my mommy than to keep her Christmas spirit, traditions, and joy in celebrating the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ alive.
This year, as we hang ornaments on our tree, string lights outside, play Christmas music, and celebrate as a family--we will honor my parents and remember them.
CC will know her Grammie and Pompa. She will know them because of the legacy they left behind here on earth; at Christmas and all throughout the year.
Christmas Memories -- Alabama
There's a blanket of snow coverin' up the old road to the house where I was raised
Through the window I see the lights on the tree and a glow from the old fireplace
Though it all looks the same so much as changed from the way it used to be
Christmas memories of happy years gone by
They come back to me and keep me warm inside
Still those Christmas memories make me cry
Now the stockings are filled; the house is still and the kids are dreamin' away
There's that old easy chair, me and Daddy sat there waitin' for Santa's sleigh
Now Daddy's gone but we carry on 'cause the little ones will need...
Christmas memories of happy years gone by
They come back to me and keep me warm inside
Oh they mean so much to me
Those Christmas memories make me cry
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December 4, 2010 Leavenworth, WA
Holiday Lighting Ceremony
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November 2009
Rochelle * Dad * Mom |
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November 2009
Holiday's at the Seattle Cancer Care Alliance House |
